Alcohol quotes

— Pioneering Food Writer

One martini is just right. Two martinis are too many. Three martinis are never enough.

— American actor, singer, writer, producer, and television host

May I suggest a drinking game where everytime I do a ridiculously long awkward blink, someone does a shot of some kind of alcohol?

— American actor, comedian, producer, and writer

Alcohol is like Photoshop for real life

— American actor, comedian, producer, and writer

I Was so Drunk, I Thought a Tube of Toothpaste Was Astronaut Food.